My dad used to wrestle... or as he would pronounce it, "wrassle"... so he and grandpa made a day trip to Norman for the Bedlam Series today (wrestling championship between OU and OSU).
It's the first time I've played spectator to this particular sport and I'm wondering why it took me so long - those tight adult onesies and bulging biceps never hurt nobody, and you can't tell they're 5'5" from up in the stands, so everybody wins! I was cringing for a hot second when one wrestler was in the splits being dragged by his foot across the mat, but it didn't seem to bother him at all.
Fortunately for OSU, not so fortunate for me, the crowd was nothing short of enthusiastic. I made the huge mistake of thinking I could study for my Energy Nutrients exam during the competitions, so I was that girl that brought her books to a wrestling match. I don't even think there is "a girl" like that, but that's what I did. So I had to ditch the loudness for the familiar peace and quiet of the campus corner Starbucks. I pulled up a chair, made out with my coffee for a second and thought about the great decision I just made. I opened my book and started down the metabolic pathway of gluconeogenisis memorizing enzymes, ATP products, etc... when out of no where came my worst nightmare.
We'll call him Homeless Harry.
He was wearing jeans up to his neck, headphones from the 80's and OH HOW I WISH YOU COULD SEE IT... a sheriff's badge. He was nice enough to leave his trashbag outside, but he decided to sit r i g h t n e x t t o m e. I wouldn't have minded so much if it weren't for the moderately offensive odor competing with my vanilla latte and the Shrek-level chatter he was uttering constantly. I ordinarily would've given him some cash, but he was ruining my great decision to leave the match! He was definitely more distracting than men in tights and I couldn't possibly get up and move just because he sat there. That's rude even to homeless people.
So I challenged myself to focus (something I have a pretty hard time doing), but I couldn't because when he would start rambling, he'd turn in my direction. This little gesture made people think he was with me.
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he was completely unaware that anyone else was in the Starbucks with him - let alone that I was taking his pic and making him famous on the internet.