Monday, January 24, 2011

Thoughts Swinging From Limb to Limb

I was halfway out the door to get a 10 o'clock snack because I'm starving for some unknown reason, but I got sidetracked by a sister on my bed playing with her virtual baby, Dartanian, and the random thought that I needed to buy another text book... so now I'm blogging.

I spun blood for the first time last week. There were no "Outbreak" moments where I cut my glove and contracted a deadly virus, so I'd say it went well. Other than one little thing that I c o u l d n o t believe I was being reprimanded for at school.

After we spin the blood, the extracted serum is placed in a small box with other blood samples in a huge freezer (about twice the size of a regular fridge). It has 6-7 drawers behind two double reinforced doors of solid steel. Imagine my surprise when I took the little box out of our drawer, walked it over to the table about four feet away to put the new serum in.. a process that would take all of 30 seconds.. and my lab partner very kindly told me to "shut the door when [I] do that". That's like asking someone to remove their tires while they wash their rims!! I'm fully aware that's the worst analogy ever, but I'm trying to convey how INCONVENIENT that is to shut a million heavy doors, only to open them up 30 seconds later. Ugh.

Anyway, almost immediately I broke into laughter at the anticipation of telling my big sister B all about this ("B" is a nod to her anonymity, not to be confused with "bitch"). She's repeated this line to me multiple times during my stay in her village, so I knew she'd get ample satisfaction out of the irony. Admittedly, I'd usually get a little peeved at her request/comments, but in that moment at the lab I realized I must really have a problem. Even though refilling a Britta jug is just a tiny bit less important than blood serum, I'm still going to change my ways.

Oh. The other day I was forced by little sister A (a nod to her anonymity, not to be confused with "awesome" or the grades she makes) to run 120's in an arctic blast. I'm all about helping her get back in shape to kick ass on the soccer field, but I'm not getting paid for this shit. Hearing ice crunching under my cleats was NOT okay. I could feel icicles forming on my alveoli. My toes were turning black from frostbite, close to a point of no return. Never again.

And lastly. I was sitting at the dining room table enjoying some girl talk while baby V (a nod to his anonymity, not to be confused with "viceroy") toddled around screaming at his new high pitch level that only dogs and Andersons can hear, we hope - it's just darling. So in an effort to distract him from his new talent, I dropped to my knees, looked him in the eye and said, "Sweetie. Be a doll and go get the mail. That's what men of the house do." And what does that crazysmart 14 month old do? Walked his butt through the livingroom, around the couch, over to the mail slot in the door and picked up the friggin' mail.

I swear, I live with three geniuses and my little sister.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Christmas Break, Take Two

Now where was I?

Oh yes... the Dude Ranch

In order to get us all on the same trail ride, dad "stretched the truth" a bit by telling the lady we all had "horseback experience". Mom rode a horse every day... THIRTY-FIVE years ago. Alyssa had a friend with horses? Brooke is strong like a horse? And I had some experience falling off a few of them in my childhood. Either way, we spent the whole drive there going over the things that most people with horseback experience would know, so we didn't foil dad's little plan

1) don't walk directly behind a horse and get the shit kicked out of you
2) get on from the left side, left leg in the stirrup, and whip your right leg up and over
3) there shouldn't be a gap between your crotch and the saddle when you're trotting. "That's what the city girls do".

Awesome, I got this.

So we get there and the first thing they ask is: who has the least experience? Of course the entire family looks over at me. Since most of my time was spent being trampled by the horses, I'll take that... so they gave me the horse they call the babysitter. He was old and calm, and was lagging so far behind the rest of the pack, I got a ton of great pictures of my family's asses. And the countryside and some buffalo.

That right there is the result of not being a city girl and hugging the saddle to avoid 'gaps'. Left us limping for 3 days straight!!

We had some good laughs out on the prairie...where the wind come sweepin' down the plains... and came back to the sweetest little cowboy and a huge steak at sunset.

Dude ranch = good choice

A few days later, I rang in the New Year at a little house party with my both my sisters from other misters

Ooooh love them!! Life is good.

And now 3 weeks later, it's January 20th and I'm back in school. I decided it'd look good on my resume to become a graduate research assistant in the Origins of Human Disease Lab, working on a study for one of my professors. One of my responsibilities is to host blood draw clinics for our pregnant mother participants and handle the separation of the serum from the platelets via centrifuge so the blood can be processed and tested for glucose, insulin and lipids...... very serious stuff. I can be serious when I have to be.


Monday, January 17, 2011

The Million Dollar Question

My days are numbered here at the 16th Street Village.

It's nothing I did. As far as I know, I'm the perfect house guest minus the occasional "Ashley dropping" and loving people too much (that's how I see it and until one of my roommates gets a blog, that's how it will stay). It's an issue of numbers. I've never been a math whiz, but when I tried to get into the kitchen today and couldn't get to the bananas because a flurry of people and toddlers were walking in and out of the house, I realized it's a numbers thing. 1 girl needs 1 banana, but 5 million people in not 5 million square feet means no banana until 5 million people are subtracted out or more square feet are added.

Seeing as Brooke is due with baby #2 in June, the "subtract people" option doesn't work... so we're moving just a few streets over to a house I can do cartwheels in and a backyard Vin can run circles in. It's ohsovery fun and nice and good, except my room desperately needs to be painted. (I promise I'm getting somewhere with this story). It's teal. With green and brown bubbles floating in random places. It's so pre-teen, and I loved being a pre-teen, but I put away my childish ways long ago. Except for calling shotgun and hating onions.

Now Brooke has been gracious enough to give me the option of suggesting colors for my room in her house, HOWEVER, she feels strongly in Color Feng Shui of levels. I made that term up, but something about complimentary colors of rooms throughout the house. I don't know, I don't decorate whole houses. All this meant to me was: I need to know what color she's painting the new nursery before I can even make suggestions, and to get there, she needs to know the answer to The Million Dollar Question


Not that she'd deck out the nursery in navy blue or pastel pink anyway, that's just not her style (which I am in TOTAL agreement with), but she needed a general direction ... and today, at 19 weeks, the gender compass pointed ...

That right there, my friends, is a .7 lb baby with nothing but 2 arms and 2 legs, if you catch my drift!!! A bundle of baby girl joy is on the way and I am SO excited!!! Not because I wouldn't have L O V E D another nephew, but because diversity is always good. I mean, she'll have Anderson blood in her, so I'm not counting on a quiet, reserved female per se, but just any bit of girly will do! Brooke told me almost immediately that she won't let us put crazy bows in her hair every day, but as Father Stand In, I reserve the right to put what I please on her head when I please to do it. Or when Brooke isn't looking anyway.

Just kidding, Brooke. Seriously, I mean it. Just kidding.

Oh thank heaven for little girls

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Dr. Phil, Oprah and I think that positive self-speak on a daily basis is important to maintaining optimal mental health... but when your birthday falls on 1-11-11, it's especially important. As such, I'm offering a moment of silence to the Universe for the epic year I know I'm about to have. Cheers.

And thank you, Jesus. I'm one blessed little lady.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Glory Days

... they still have the 'ol Has Beens on Rice's camp site! single tear. sniff, sniff.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Oh Christ-mas Tree, Oh Christ-mas Tree, My Break Was An Entire Month Looooong

After living out of a suitcase for just under 3 weeks, my pale ass is back in OKC and finally settled in! It took about 3 days to get used to my new room layout (apparently my choice of furniture placement doesn't show well to potential buyers)... it took about 3 minutes to get used to the weather - and by "get used to", I mean "decide I'm never going outside" ... but it only took 3 seconds to get used to having nothing to do and nowhere to be :) Much like opposable thumbs and my Potawatomi heritage, I really took Christmas Break for granted. I haven't had time to organize my sock drawer since May of 2001 and it's amazing, this thing called free time!

Christmas was one of the best yet. The OtherOtherWhiteMeat is walking all over the place, usually in circles, and climbing all over things. Except ChuckECheese. This pretty much tells the story about how that trip went...

He won't be afraid when he figures out you get DOUBLE tokens for each 'A' on your report card. That's like 5 extra go 'rounds on the Siiiide Winder. Man, I love that place.

So also this Christmas break, I met my new parents! I've known them all my life, but it's just recently that the image of bell bottoms and long hair (on both of them) has given rise to a sweet little picture of pure country. Apparently most every night, dad puts on some tunes and a fire, mom pours a glass of wine and they watch their favorite evening entertainment, Perry the possum. He walks across the backyard to the leftover birdseed on the ground, eats it, and walks back across the yard. Ya'll, they talk about it for like 30 minutes and sometimes text their daughters something fascinating like: "Perry stopped in the clearing and looked over at us." The build up is almost too much to handle! I MEAN, WHAT WILL PERRY DO NEXT?? I got to witness this activity, if you will, with my own eyes... it only seemed natural to take Perry's picture and introduce him to the internet...

Right in tune with this new CountryBumpkin image I have of them and their love for sprawling land, peace and quiet, my dad planned a little vacay to Quartz Mountain near Altus, OK to watch some eagles. I saw ONE, from about 300 yards away, but the other part of the vacation was awesome. I rode next to CountryBumpkin's offspring, Sleeping Diva, through a bunch of cotton fields, small towns and tumani tutanka (c'mon, you haven't seen Dances With Wolves?)

We stayed in a little cabin amongst Rudolf's prancing cohorts, naked trees and, according to our father, some boogeymen... one of which tried to attack me our last night there. OKAYYY, what I thought was a white midget boogeyman moving very fast, might have been my mom walking down the hallway with a pillow. But it freaked me out... we had just watched Fargo!

We ate lots of delicious food, climbed gorgeous mountains, enjoyed many-a-game of dominoes (most frustrating game EVER to play with this sarcastic family), went for nature walks and runs and picked cotton from a nearby farm. We made Alyssa do that, just in case Farmer Johnson was sittin' on his porch with a rifle.

Then there was the Dude Ranch. I was so excited to put on what I thought was a Dude Ranch outfit, until my big sister delivered The Low Blow of the vacation when she said I looked 'so metropolitan'. THE NERVE. I'm known for being a bit sensitive, but I shrugged it off nicely if I do say so myself. And tapped into the Beverly Hillbilly in me for the obligatory pose with hay and a pitchfork.

Seriously? Metropolitan?? w h a t e v e r

We have a house showing in like .5 seconds. This just turned into a 2-part series. Goodbye now.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Hold Onto Your Panties

Christmas Break/New Years Post is coming soon to a blog near you....