Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Rise and Shine

-I'm 2 weeks from being voluntarily unemployed... who does that in this economy? I don't wanna hear it, dad.

-I'm 4 weeks from moving north across the Red River... away from my beloved H-tizzle to a whole new world (if you're so inclined, break into Aladdin song here).

-I'm 5 weeks away from becoming a full-time student again. Maybe I can get rid of my corns now by wearing flip flops every day. That alone is worth the $40,000 of debt.

Life is obviously changing. But there is something I noticed today that hasn't changed for the past 6 months. Oh, L.A. Fitness, why can't you move to Oklahoma with me? My morning gym routine is so comforting it cuddles me in its arms and rocks me to sleep at night.

E v e r y s i n g l e morning, just before I take a right into the parking garage, a Metro bus decides to park at a bus stop for 30 minutes, just waiting for someone to board. That's okay, I know Houston needs that $.50 bus fare. Every single morning, I step out of my car, cuss the humidity, grab my work clothes and walk to the front door. Usually I'm greeted by a very short, but very buff youngman. It's not a friendly greeting, per se (probably has something to do with his short stature and lack of self confidence that he tries to make up for in biceps, but you didn't hear that from me). He takes my card, punches my parking ticket and tells me to have a good workout. Sometimes I wonder if that procedure is actually in their job description

- Scan L.A. Fitness Card
- Punch parking ticket
- Wish customer "good/great workout"

It's the same e v e r y s i n g l e time. But I'm not complaining; already told you I love the routine! At that very moment I decide whether I'll take his advice or not. Most of the time the answer is yes, but I did nap between sets on the hamstring curl machine once (the slight incline was just so damned comfortable!). Then I head down to the locker room to put my things away. If all parties involved are on time that morning, I'll pass 2 men. The big, cool black guy that's trying so hard to make the elliptical look masculine - "look ya'll, no hands". And the other guy is the sweetest little gray-hair you ever did see. He wears suspenders with a tie and a bike helmet everyday... and takes his stairs so slow and deliberately, he can't even look up to say hello... SO SWEET.

Then I enter the locker room. I walk behind the same old white lady and 2 nurses in scrubs getting ready at the mirrors. One sprays hairspray on me and says good morning with a smile and the others just stare blankly as I walk by. as if I don't see them more than most family members do. RUDE. I round the corner to my preferred cubby and 9 out of 10 times, there's a bare, black, bubble ass in my face. 6 months ago I was bothered by her lack of inhibitions... cover up for gdsake, there's 1,000 towels in here... but time heals all wounds and now I pretty much respect her confidence. I mean, if someone's gonna walk around naked, it might as well be her. I'd kill for an ass like that. A white one though. I digress. So I put my things up, set my code to "1983" (don't even try to steal my things, I change lockers everyday), get my ipod, weigh myself, take a sip of water from the water fountain (whether I'm thirsty or not) and head to the weights.

The actual workout is my only variable in this delightful morning routine, but even it has its consistency...... in that Ryan always decides what I do. Like I'm a puppet in his little world of fitness. 1/2jk.

At 7:35am on the dot, it's back to the locker room where an entirely different set of women have taken over. One super-fit asian that I've never made eye contact with and two not-so-fit black women (okay, they're clinically obese) who single handedly provide me with more entertainment in 20 minutes than one episode of Ellen. Maybe it's because I'm kind of eavesdropping and that's half the fun, but I know all about their work drama and often find myself fighting the urge to laugh at something they said -- because how awkward would that be? So I take a shower, dry my hair, put on my face and head to work.

A lot of people watching, listening and greeting happens in my day before 8:30am and I LURV it. I wish I could bring this gym with me to Oklahoma. But I'm sure I'll find another group of people and another routine that I'll miss dearly when I move from there too. It's just the circle of life. For someone who moves all the time anyway.

Monday, July 19, 2010

You Might Be an Okie if.......

.....you get a text message from Ashley that says "I'm at Lake Austin" and respond with:

"There are lakes other than Lake Murray??" - BHA


"Can you really call Lake Austin a lake?" - TCA

I'm just sayinnn. They might be Okies.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Oxymoron: Probation on Independence Day

I'm on probation. Guilty of floating a stop sign. Sick of Defensive Driving. I applied for Deferred Disposition and it was approved, so I can't get another moving violation between now and September 28, 2010 at 9:00 a.m. I feel like such an outlaw and it's kind of a cool feeling... in a thank-goodness-I'm-not-really-in-jail kind of way.

In other news, 4th of July was pretty much awesome. I ate coffee for breakfast and broke my forefinger on Alyssa's knee falling off the weenie at 30 mph. No, it's not really broken, but it hurt like a mother.

Here are some highlights

Vin is on the go

Conner sings pretty songs for us

at Rachel-o's bday brunch with birthday beads

I just can't stop taking pictures of him eating limes

and being precious

and fake walking

Oh yes, and Dad won Uncle Tom's Annual Open