Friday, November 20, 2009

A Must See D.V.D.!!

UPDATED with more pics :) ugh, I feel like I was disserviced by his birth 6 days before I can get up there. I mean seriously, take a look at those legs and miniature phalanges. It's like torture!!!!

It is my distinct pleasure to introduce you to my nephew,


...born unto a family of smartasses on...

November 19, 2009
7 lbs 5 oz
20" long

Isn't he just precious???

I think it's important to mention that on Tuesday night I begged my sister to break her water before Thanksgiving so I could snuggle a baby and eat turkey at the same time. I don't really see this as an unusual request. Despite being 3cm dilated at her appointment a few days earlier, she proceeded to shatter my hopes and dreams by reminding me of her November 30th induction.

So I did what most soon-to-be-first-time-auntie-ashes would do. I ordered a Smartzip Sleeper for the peanut and had it shipped to her. Luckily for everyone involved, the baby boutique I ordered from ( is on the ball with customer service and almost immediately sent me a personal email to clarify what size and color I ordered. Turns out I chose the Made Me Blush Pink pajamas for the boy growing in my sister. I swear it wasn't a Freudian slip.

Little did I know, my nearmistake would send shockwaves to Oklahoma and send my sister into active labor.... something about the unrealized fear of putting her son in pink pajamas and potential gender identity issues? I don't know, but her water broke Wednesday night whilst nesting in the nursery. She managed to get a few hours of shut eye before the intensifying contractions asked her to p l e a s e c a l l t h e d o c t o r. So their day started early with a 6am drive to the hospital, already dilated to 5 cm and completely effaced.

--- this would be the point I received a phone call from my mother screaming something to the affect of "HER WATER BROKE LAST NIGGGGHHTTT!!! AHAHAAHFDAFSDFAWEOBNV" ---

And the day begun.

I won't bore you with all the little details. and by "all the little details", I mean the seventy-four text message updates we received from dad between 10am-4pm. Despite his lack of attention to punctuation, he's a great story teller. Some of these are from his perspective and the others are just hospital room dialogue. HI-larious.


11:52am – We’re moving to an exercise ball contractions about 2-3 min apart

12:00pm – baby is at 128 heart rate, contraction 2 min after last one, doctor talk is head is engaged

12:11pm – Just had a 10 on the contraction scale, most had been 6

12:26pm – Brooke says ouch

12:35pm – baby is kicking the monitor

2:27pm – Just started pitocin, really small amount, to get this show on the road. Still between 8-9cm now, so hopefully soon

2:36pm – She gets to start pushing

3:16pm – Ok having a contraction almost there you’re doing good ok got one building. You’re doing a lot of work push hard again push push take a deep breath. I need a break ow.

3:26pm – big doctor is in the house

3:46pm – this is work ok almost that’s super job almost done good job all forward from here. Baby’s right there ok here we go push push this baby’s very excited about being born. Come on vincent, i’m getting a calf cramp oh shit.

3:53pm – if you got it, short little breaths, you can reach down and feel him if you want, looks like he has long dark hair, push one more and I bet we’ll have a baby. Ok ok he came further, half his head is hanging out, now take some deep breaths

3:55pm – my hand is going numb

3:58pm – the big finale, almost come on one more oh you did it here, baby crying look there baby boy, dad you want to cut the cord

After 6 hours of texting all that detail, I'm assuming the numb hand wasn't Brooke's.

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