O.M.G.

I am dramatic by nature, but I'm serious about this... All the stress in the last year and a half of my life comes down to this week. In five days I defend my thesis. The only thing comforting me at this point is knowing that a year and a half ago, everything I knew about writing a thesis came from the movie With Honors in 1994. I'd say that's starting from scratch and I feel good about my progress. Hopefully I'll be updating next week with emotions similar to this

Virginia is Only 1,376 Miles Away

It's April 12th and The Big Change is behind us. Brooke and those babies have officially flocked to their new home in Norfolk.

It was a dreadful week leading up to moving day. I did everything but creep around corners and stare at Vin and Avery for hours on end. Not in a super scary way, just a kind of scary way. Hell, I wanted to soak up every last second with them! My sisterwife, Lt. Duracell Bunny, was constantly fluttering about the house getting things packed and we had a slew of grandparents in and out that admittedly got to spend way less time with them than I did... so I surrendered. My rational subconscious knew I couldn't hold them for the last week they were in town, so I just kept repeating to myself over and over "they're leaving either way, Ashley. Just rip off the bandaid now. Go forth and conquer." Then I'd sit in my car crying for 20 minutes listening to slow jams.

But seriously. Do you know what it's like to live with a sister for a year and half help raise her children, watch her baby boy grow into a toddler and witness the birth of her baby girl?? This experience was nothing short of unique and I am seriously blessed to have lived it. Not only because I am that much closer with my sister, but also because now I know multiple tricks to make infants sleep (and when they try to fight it, it's okay, because I'M THE BOSS... right, Brooke??), and now I know the most efficient way of handling a massive turd in big boy undies without getting poop on everyone and everything. I also know I have the strength to pick up a sleeping baby, walk her over to the couch, feed her in the dark, and put her back in the crib without ever waking her. Magic. Where else do you have the chance to learn these things? I won't be the world's greatest mother, but those infamous first-time-parent fears will definitely be mitigated by this experience. So. Lucky.

And best of all, I KNOW these children... like really know them.

My Little Nut
The child can throw a frisbee like there's no tomorrow. It's like a "fire in the hole" moment... you better be aware of your surroundings, because there's no telling where it's going, but it's getting there FAST...

He reads every chance he gets and his vocabulary is reaping the benefits. One morning he walked up to Avery in her bumbo seat by the window and I suggested he tell her what was outside... he proceeded to point at each thing as he said, "see, dat Avery, neighbors der and der on bos sides, dats da swing, ders the wind bwowing in the trees." I d.i.e.d.


He's a park dweller by nature, a softy at heart and thinks it's funny to correct me on the type of grains on the back of the cereal box. Or say "Annie Ash is weird" (another aunt that shall remain nameless started that, by the way. Such a hussy).



I can't believe he went from this...

to this, in such a short time...

Ugh. He'll always be my first love (copyright Aunt June, 1954)


My Little Muffin
I'll miss this baby girl just as much, but in a different kind of way. The kind of way that says "damnit that she's leaving right when she gets awesome."

I mean, she's had the squarest face and the poutiest lips from day one, but they just keep getting more scrumptious.


I already miss our half hour of alone time between 7-7:30 like WOAH. We used that time to coo at each other and solve the world's problems... we discovered the answer to happiness was nudity. Just take off that onesie and the BYOMilk Happy Hour was upon us. Good times.

I only had the chance to teach her the necessities - how to straighten her hair

And how to have a really big mouth like a true lippy Anderson female

And I know she'll use that mouth wisely. Girl has things to say. We went from an internalized laugh, to a motorboat scream/cry, to a throat clearing snort, to a straight up grunt of hilarity in just 10 short months. Sweetest streusel muffin love I know. I heart her.





I'd be remiss if I didn't say it's been really stinking nice to sleep in and lay out all day. But when I do things like Skype with them, like I just did... the flood gates open and I'm a mess all over again. Avery just sat on the table with a big toothless grin, pulling out her happy dance a few times... Vincent just wanted to tell me about the new park and sing Wheels on the Bus. My cup runneth over.


Sooo yeah. I'm starting a "Send Ashley To Virginia Fund". Send me a message if you want to donate.

Time Flies When You're in Gradschool - Actually, No it Doesn't

The internet is such a funny thing. You essentially own something for free that you can walk away from for 9 months and when you decide to come back, it's in perfect shape, just as you left it. Brilliance. However, this does not change that I have this huge guilt complex atop my head (anointy nointy) about leaving it for so long. ESPECIALLY since I just re-read the last 3 entries and clearly remember making The Vow of Blogging Equality to my little moofin.(Moofin is Avery. It's a spin on muffin. Muffin just kind of happened because she's quite frankly the sweetest smelling babe south of the Mississippi. Plus, I'm a dietitian and Vincent's a nut. Moofin just fit).

Point being: I'm sorry, Avery, but we all know what babies do for the first 6 months. Not a whole lot. But now you're 10 months with a distinct personality, a sassy little grunt and a precious internalized-95%-of-the-time laugh. And Vincent is reading novels. And you're both leaving me :( So it's time for an epic entry.

I'm currently collecting kleenex in preparation for the official goodbye blog. It's coming soon.

Oops, Sis Did It Again

18 months ago Max and my sister had the most precious baby I've ever seen... then yesterday they had the most precious baby I've ever seen again! So weird.

It is my greatest pleasure to introduce you to my beautiful new niece, Miss Avery Brooke :)

She was aptly born to flight officers at 7:47pm on their wedding anniversary
June 5, 2011
7lbs 3oz
20in long


and after she got her hair did :)



The day started like any other day that starts with your phone ringing at 4:30 in the morning.... I startled awake and practically fell out of bed trying to answer it with a frantic, "are you okay?!?" The only other time I woke up so quickly was when a huge, drunk football player thought it'd be a good idea to surprise me while I was asleep in my dorm room. By laying on me. Ever wake up thinking you're being raped? Didn't think so. It's not fun. So my ever so calm and reserved sister (of whom I'm not sure how I'm related for that very reason) says quietly and peacefully, "Yes, everything is fine. I need you to come home now, my water broke."

I was out the door like Jackie Joyner-Kersee on steroids, my hair probably looking a lot like her dreads at this point too, and since OKC decided to have overnight highway construction on The Most Inconvenient Day ever, thoughts about having a baby on the kitchen floor were dancing through my head... but I was home in no time and there was apparently no need to rush. Brooke was quietly doing what she does best: organizing life in no hurry whatsoever. And it's a good thing too, because she was back at the house by 7am ??? The doc said her water didn't break, but that "she peed herself".

For the record, I'm only comfortable telling this part of the story because 12 hours later we were obviously snuggling a baby, not a 7lb turd. I'm gonna need that doctor's credentials asap.

Anyhoo. We headed back to the hospital when "she peed herself" again and she was admitted (doctor dipshit was obviously not on-call at that point). But the home stretch didn't start off too well when the nurse misplaced her IV and her arm blew up like the elephant man. I just seriously don't have the stomach for stuff like that, people. I almost passed out and we had only been there 15 minutes. But IVs were replaced and my sense of calm was soon restored.

Now Mom tells the best story of Brooke's virtually silent natural labor with Vincent and I was so curious to see if she was over exaggerating like the drama queen she (I) is (am). So at about 6pm, as if I was transported through time to his birth in 2009, Brooke would start to tell a story and just kind of stop in the middle of a sentence, close her eyes, gently relax her arms and breathe normally through a 20 minute contraction. Okay, maybe not that long, but the little Richter Scale of contractions scared me! Most of them were like 5.0s at this point and getting close together, but Brooke was like a silent pregnant Buddha in an annoyingly patterned hospital gown.




It wasn't until 7pm that our little Richter Scale didn't matter anymore because sister was on her side, couldn't move petrified from pain, getting no breaks between contractions AND she broke 4 of my fingers from squeezing my hand. It was around then I decided I would never have a child. She still wasn't making noises because she's pretty much the strongest person I know, but she didn't have to say anything, her wrinkled brow of pain and the fact that I didn't see her eyeballs for an entire hour said enough. She actually ordered an epidural to stop the madness, but the elusive anestesiaologist "Jim" was playing the slots at the casino or something because it never got there....

Brooke went from 6cm to fully dilated and begging to push in 30 minutes. A swarm of nurses and doctors trying to hide their frenzy frantically set up for Avery's arrival. Like earth, wind and fire, Mom grabbed Brooke's right shoulder, Aly migrated to her left shoulder, and I posted up on her left leg. With our Anderson Women powers combined we just stood there and cried for the fifth element to get her shoulders the hell outta Brooke. Funny thing is, when they turned on those birthing flood lights, it was exactly like the final scene in that movie. Except sadly, half naked Bruce Willis wasn't there.

The doctor told her to push at her next contraction and we all waited, hearts pounding from excitement.... and like an amazing magician, the doctor pulled a beautiful baby girl out of Brooke's. hat. The love just poured out of us and for a hot second I forgot about all the pain my sister was in, because my baby niece was laying there being wiped and poked and prodded and of course, adored. THEN the doctor turned to us and her mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear any words.

That's a lie. She was asking who wanted to cut the cord since Max was somewhere between Spain and Africa bringing home the bacon. But seeing as I almost lost my lunch with Brooke's little IV situation earlier, I opted out of the generous offer by pretty much sprinting to the door screaming. Good thing Alyssa isn't squeamish (she donates plasma). She hopped on it like white on rice.



And that was it, folks. The baby girl we've been waiting on for what seems like forever is now in our arms. Brooke brought her home in a "Daddy Loves Me" onesie, perfectly suited for her since I know Max is beaming with pride wherever he is, and Vincent had a Welcome Home sign and some sweet kisses waiting for her! I actually wouldn't be surprised if he made the sign himself - the kid has the vocabulary of most men I've dated.


Welcome to the world, Avery Brooke! We love you dearly and will soon overstimulate you with squeezes and Raffi music. Here's a prelude to the madness:

all I really need is a song in my heart
food in my bel-ly
and looove in my fam-ily

check, check and check :)

For Daddy's Eyes Only

The only thing missing from yesterday's miracle was you, Max :( here's a sneak peek at your new favorite anniversary present....









She has her momma's lips and the sweetest little disposition... hardly cried at all during her bath :) I promise I'll write her official birth story in the next few days when I get pics from Aly's camera so you can have a better pictorial and all the details.

We miss you terribly, hope all is well on the ship. xoxox

I Don't Make Promises I Can't Keep

Okay, so I didn't get the pic at 6:15am, but I got it!

Check out this uniform ... is that not one of the cutest oxymorons you ever did see??



and this one's going in the record books for obvious reasons. Makes me happy just looking at it.

My Pledge of Allegiance

It's Memorial Day. Have you thanked the service men and women in your life lately? I have. Please look at a couple of those precious heads years and years and years ago...



And when I say YEARS ago, I mean it. They're coming up on their 2nd child, 6th wedding anniversary, and going on 10 total years together.



This is a photo of Brooke pinning Max - I think it was a "thank you in advance for putting up with my shit" pin. I KID I KID.

Speaking of funny things. My goal is to wake up at 6:15 tomorrow morning to snap a pic of Brooke in her maternity uniform as she makes her way into the office (not for much longer!!). Just imagining her barking orders at sassy men all day in an empire waist camo jacket that hardly hides her delicate situation is enough to make me smile. The least I can do is share it with you.