Where the Wind Comes Sweepin' Down the Plain

I'm so very excited to bring you this installment of Musings of a Monkey Mind from my brand new room in Oklahoma City! Officially a student, a Sooner, a member of the 16th Street Village and a professional Target go-er (seriously, I went 5 times in my first 2 days I moved here), I'm settled and loving it :)

My room is a mishmash of something old, something new, something borrowed and something... goo... because I just spilled my massage candle and I'm pissed. But anyway, I'm next door to the sweetest little pooper in town, and I don't mean Alyssa. I really never thought I'd wipe someone's exploding butt while smiling and whistling a pleasant melody, but I did and take a look at these pictures...





Just TRY to tell me you don't wanna wipe his butt?! Ugh. And for those of you that feared for Max's sanity with all 3 Lippy Anderson Females under one roof, IN YOUR FACE!! We've only had one fight so far. Alyssa the savage beast ran after me with red eyes and sounds of the devil when I closed her Facebook page. I knew better than to play with fire. It won't happen again.

But besides that little jewel, I don't have to get my car inspected thanks to this great state, I get to unwind at our lakehouse as often as I want (and see my parents there because apparently they go every weekend), I get a student discount at the movies, and I'll actually get to enjoy a FALL SEASON. Did you guys in Houston know they actually have mid-range temps in other cities?? I mean, it's AUGUST and I thought I needed a jacket this morning. I A M I N H E A V E N.

School started Monday and I couldn't be happier with everything. Except parking. Don't even get me started, because I'm premenstrual and might cry if I have to relive the nightmare of being 20 minutes late to Foods Lab and being stuck with Timothy McVeigh as a lab partner for the entire semester. That's probably not funny anymore now that I live a few blocks from the memorial, but it's true. Either way, school is fascinating. If you're even thinking about getting pregnant, please make sure you find one of the 75 (out of 233!) prenatal vitamins that actually meets the recommended daily allowance of Iodine for pregnant women. Since the majority of my 6 readers are men, that was a pointless sentence, but that's neither here nor there. I'm learning and I wanted to share. And I also think it's worth sharing that I went from undergrad at liberal central where people with dreads would come to class barefoot with their dogs, or go on organized naked runs through campus... to graduate school at conservative central where it's in the HANDBOOK that we can't wear jeans, show cleavage and must have "an attractive hairstyle" or else we will be "counseled". NIGHT AND DAY. When I think about it, it's perfect for me.

I hope I'll want to go back to work when I finish my dietetic internship. You know, to pay off the loans I have from NOT working and all. But this is just too fun!!

Brooke, can I stay forever as your grocery shopper? I promise to update this blog more often.........DON'T ANSWER NOW. Just think about it :)

Rise and Shine

-I'm 2 weeks from being voluntarily unemployed... who does that in this economy? I don't wanna hear it, dad.

-I'm 4 weeks from moving north across the Red River... away from my beloved H-tizzle to a whole new world (if you're so inclined, break into Aladdin song here).

-I'm 5 weeks away from becoming a full-time student again. Maybe I can get rid of my corns now by wearing flip flops every day. That alone is worth the $40,000 of debt.


Life is obviously changing. But there is something I noticed today that hasn't changed for the past 6 months. Oh, L.A. Fitness, why can't you move to Oklahoma with me? My morning gym routine is so comforting it cuddles me in its arms and rocks me to sleep at night.

E v e r y s i n g l e morning, just before I take a right into the parking garage, a Metro bus decides to park at a bus stop for 30 minutes, just waiting for someone to board. That's okay, I know Houston needs that $.50 bus fare. Every single morning, I step out of my car, cuss the humidity, grab my work clothes and walk to the front door. Usually I'm greeted by a very short, but very buff youngman. It's not a friendly greeting, per se (probably has something to do with his short stature and lack of self confidence that he tries to make up for in biceps, but you didn't hear that from me). He takes my card, punches my parking ticket and tells me to have a good workout. Sometimes I wonder if that procedure is actually in their job description

- Scan L.A. Fitness Card
- Punch parking ticket
- Wish customer "good/great workout"

It's the same e v e r y s i n g l e time. But I'm not complaining; already told you I love the routine! At that very moment I decide whether I'll take his advice or not. Most of the time the answer is yes, but I did nap between sets on the hamstring curl machine once (the slight incline was just so damned comfortable!). Then I head down to the locker room to put my things away. If all parties involved are on time that morning, I'll pass 2 men. The big, cool black guy that's trying so hard to make the elliptical look masculine - "look ya'll, no hands". And the other guy is the sweetest little gray-hair you ever did see. He wears suspenders with a tie and a bike helmet everyday... and takes his stairs so slow and deliberately, he can't even look up to say hello... SO SWEET.

Then I enter the locker room. I walk behind the same old white lady and 2 nurses in scrubs getting ready at the mirrors. One sprays hairspray on me and says good morning with a smile and the others just stare blankly as I walk by. as if I don't see them more than most family members do. RUDE. I round the corner to my preferred cubby and 9 out of 10 times, there's a bare, black, bubble ass in my face. 6 months ago I was bothered by her lack of inhibitions... cover up for gdsake, there's 1,000 towels in here... but time heals all wounds and now I pretty much respect her confidence. I mean, if someone's gonna walk around naked, it might as well be her. I'd kill for an ass like that. A white one though. I digress. So I put my things up, set my code to "1983" (don't even try to steal my things, I change lockers everyday), get my ipod, weigh myself, take a sip of water from the water fountain (whether I'm thirsty or not) and head to the weights.

The actual workout is my only variable in this delightful morning routine, but even it has its consistency...... in that Ryan always decides what I do. Like I'm a puppet in his little world of fitness. 1/2jk.

At 7:35am on the dot, it's back to the locker room where an entirely different set of women have taken over. One super-fit asian that I've never made eye contact with and two not-so-fit black women (okay, they're clinically obese) who single handedly provide me with more entertainment in 20 minutes than one episode of Ellen. Maybe it's because I'm kind of eavesdropping and that's half the fun, but I know all about their work drama and often find myself fighting the urge to laugh at something they said -- because how awkward would that be? So I take a shower, dry my hair, put on my face and head to work.

A lot of people watching, listening and greeting happens in my day before 8:30am and I LURV it. I wish I could bring this gym with me to Oklahoma. But I'm sure I'll find another group of people and another routine that I'll miss dearly when I move from there too. It's just the circle of life. For someone who moves all the time anyway.

You Might Be an Okie if.......

.....you get a text message from Ashley that says "I'm at Lake Austin" and respond with:

"There are lakes other than Lake Murray??" - BHA

or

"Can you really call Lake Austin a lake?" - TCA


I'm just sayinnn. They might be Okies.

Oxymoron: Probation on Independence Day

I'm on probation. Guilty of floating a stop sign. Sick of Defensive Driving. I applied for Deferred Disposition and it was approved, so I can't get another moving violation between now and September 28, 2010 at 9:00 a.m. I feel like such an outlaw and it's kind of a cool feeling... in a thank-goodness-I'm-not-really-in-jail kind of way.

In other news, 4th of July was pretty much awesome. I ate coffee for breakfast and broke my forefinger on Alyssa's knee falling off the weenie at 30 mph. No, it's not really broken, but it hurt like a mother.

Here are some highlights

Vin is on the go


Conner sings pretty songs for us


at Rachel-o's bday brunch with birthday beads


I just can't stop taking pictures of him eating limes


and being precious


and fake walking


Oh yes, and Dad won Uncle Tom's Annual Open

A Tale of Two Cities

Hello, Heaven on Earth, nice to meet you


A love affair with a horsey


Morning run through St. Helena (aka: balancing out the wine tasting liver damage)


... made a bottle of Bold, Complex and Rich Cabs with a splash of Merlot... I should probably start my own winery


Alcatraz out your bedroom window? This should be the city that never sleeps


One mo' mojito. Uthanku.


And then there was NASA.

Just makes you all warm n' fuzzy and patriotic!

Deserves Its Own Post

My notoriously worthless co-worker took a business call this morning! and THAT, my friends, is noteworthy.

This phone call is one of a handful of work-related conversations this man has had at his desk in the two years I've been sitting here. This is not an over exaggeration. He does nothing. He strolls around the property flirting with anything that walks, disappears from his desk for HOURS at a time.

Lately I've been overcome with a sense of guilt and lack of serious motivation for my job, since I know my last day is just around the corner, but this colleague of mine makes me feel better about myself on a daily basis... because at least I work harder than he does.

But today, TODAY, he took a business call. As painful as it was to listen to, because let's face it... practice makes perfect and he doesn't have much practice... he tried to sell our facility.

Just goes to show you - never say never

bing Bing BING!

Like a pinball machine, my thoughts:

I am officially CPR certified. I'm glad to be armed with the knowledge, but I truly hope I never have to use it... mostly because real people aren't plastic and don't come with freshly sanitized mouths... but also because trauma sucks.

I want to identify exactly where the fine line is between 'withholding information to spare feelings' and 'lying'.

I got another friggin ticket to add to my repertoire. This really isn't funny, because this time, I broke the law so soon after my last ticket, I'm not eligible for defensive driving to decrease the cost and consequence. Ugh. $235 for floating a stop sign, for reals?

I hate white chocolate. I don't even know why it was invented. It definitely doesn't belong in cookies.

I dreamed my big sister decorated my room with kinetic formulas. For the record, she has much better taste than that, but it really freaked me out about gradschool.

Father's Day is Sunday. My father has been a father for 29 years. But only my father for 27. And Alyssa's for 20. Now aint that somethin'.

If I were a toll booth collector, I would definitely wear plastic gloves.

My nephew is officially crawling and we couldn't be more excited! Seriously, it's like the 8th wonder of the world (especially because they're about to tear down the Astrodome). I'm wondering if my family will be as excited when I learn to do something... like filter my thoughts?