Because Who Is Ashley Anymore?

At 4:43am this morning, Tommy boy turned two weeks old :)

I thought about 136 different topics for this blog entry as one of my main goals of motherhood is to NOT LOSE MYSELF in the crazy world of motherhood... Because after all, I was Ashley before I was "Mom". But then I realized my son was born two weeks ago !!! So I guess I need to work a little harder at attaining my goal.

Now I'm sure you were in some stage III slumber dreaming about your weekend plans at 4:43am. That's nice. I was staring at the monitor, zooming in on his chest just to make sure he didn't forget to breathe. He was busy making gas smiles and metabolizing the liquid gold breastmilk I so generously made for him. And Josh was subtly reminding me with his rhythmic breathing that I was still laying there staring at a monitor when I, too, should be sleeping.

This child of ours is chill. So chill. He does NOT 'get it from his mama'. He sleeps 3.5-4 hours at a time and when he is awake, he just lays there looking at something, kickin his chicken legs and wavin his arms in a very martial-arts-like manner. Since I know he can't see more than a foot in front of his face, I often wonder what he's looking at, but I guess the important part is that he's looking at something. Or more importantly, that he's doing it quietly. He's started this hilarious growl/grunt thing when he's trying to get the 'ol GI system in gear, but otherwise, the boy doesn't cry. For this, I am thankful (and knocking on every piece of wood I can find).

Since he was a month early, he is no longer my little Aries baby, so I did a little research. Tommy Boy is now a Pisces. Characterized by the proverbial fish, my son is an omega-3-rich lean protein :) Very fitting, as he was born on National Registered Dietitian Day. ((Yes, there is such a thing, you smart asses))

"Pisces natives are in touch with their emotions, though not to the point of mawkishness. Apt to be idealists. Physically and emotionally strong. The Pisces Man has great warmth and charm. He is not afraid to show vulnerabilities -- in fact, he displays them with pride. He connects with others on an emotionally satisfying level. Relationships make up the primary focus of this man's life. The Pisces Child is a dreamer. At times he may seem caught up in his illusions and unable to tell reality from fantasy. These little ones should be allowed to explore the limitless boundaries of imagination without fear of ridicule. Playing games of imagination allows Pisces children to safely explore their creativity."

That last part is kind of scary. I mean, what exactly is the "limitless boundary of imagination"? I feel like everything has a boundary. For example. One boundary might be thinking he can fly - off the roof. Or acting like an animal at church. I'll have to draw the big 'ol bold boundary line right there.

Anyhooooo - next time I'll find something else to blog about. For seriously.

Very Big and Very Small Things Have Happened Since 2012

It dawned on me somewhere between waiting for him to wake up and the next time I was waiting for him to wake up, that I should probably get a hobby. So I decided to start blogging again. Since my last post in 2012, I graduated from grad school, finished a 9 month internship, earned the official MS/RD/LD signature credench, got married to the funniest person I know and most recently...

 

brought forth the first fruit of my loin. Simultaneously the biggest and smallest thing I've ever done.

I drafted birthday stories for both my nephew and my niece, so I'd be remiss if I didn't chronicle the birthday story of my son. Let's start from the beginning. Cliffs Notes version.

In November 2011, this man named Joshua Gibson said he loved me. In May 2013, I married him. Somewhere in between Josh renovated a kitchen, I bought some awesome drapes and decided soft peach and charcoal gray would be our wedding colors. Since I'm such a patient person, we waited an entire 2 months to make a kid. Josh decided early on he didn't want to know the sex of our child, so I was forced to get on board with that because I'm the world's worst secret keeper and I've accepted that about myself. I only hated that part of pregnancy like 242.75 times. I mean, it doesn't really make you feel like the world's greatest mother to call your unborn child an "it" and nickname it Herm. I also think it's necessary to document a funny story here. We took a childbirth class in late January. The instructor asked us to introduce ourselves and tell everyone something interesting. Every man in the room used the example given and told us what kind of dog they had (how that is an "interesting fact" is beyond me). When it was my husband's turn, he said "I'm Joshua and this is Ashley. An interesting thing about me is that I chopped up our Christmas tree with a machete last night." No one talked to us the rest of the class, but I thought it was awesome.

So now we're up to speed.

The anticipation of the birth of this child started much earlier, but it really ramped up when I had what I thought was my 36 week appointment on March 5th and I learned I was already dilating. All of the sudden, things got REAL. Josh returned from his last childless deployment that weekend and I started making lists of dinners I needed to freeze, clothes I needed to wash in fragrance-free detergent and art I needed to hang in the very nursery that the wee one probably wouldn't use for many more months - but it was a VERY important bullet point to the estrogen coursing through my veins. Just ask Josh.

The entire pregnancy, my 311 crazed husband was hoping our child would be born on March 11th. When he got home from work that day, he prompted me one more time... "sooo I guess we're not having a baby today, huh?" I shook my head and apologized for what a failure of a wife I am. Actually, I just laughed at him, said no, and went about my day. It was a beautiful, clear, relatively mild March night. I did my pregnancy workout DVD with full on labor squats, 4 sets of Kegels and a curious Jane-Fonda-circa-1985 arm circle routine whereby the instructor tells you "if it gets too hard, just imagine holding your baby for the first time." I'd never done this birthing thing before, but if a couple minutes of arm circles gets "too hard", just go ahead and knock me out when it's time to give birth to an actual baby. In hindsight, it was during the labor squats that I got the sneaky suspicion the wee one had dropped. The actual thought was "I feel like I'm squishing its face. I should probably stop doing this." So I went to bed.

Little did I know, this would be the last selfie of our baby in my tummy tum tum that night. Single tear.

Now, at this point in pregnancy, I was blessed with a bathroom break every 2 hours during the night, so at 12:45am, I got up for the first of those bathroom breaks. I used the same safe pregnancy technique of getting out of bed that I'd been using since I made the conscious decision to avoid back pain - I rolled - but this time, I noticed a slight burning in my back. I didn't think anything of it until I laid back down and it didn't really stop. So I went to the living room to watch TV until I could fall asleep again. But the burning didn't stop. Then it dawned on my to take note if this burning sensation was correlated with the Braxton Hicks I had been feeling for months. Sure 'nuff. An hour later, I had downloaded a contraction timer app (as if the stopwatch feature on my phone wasn't good enough) and decided I was in labor. Naturally, I decided now would be a good time to go shave my legs.

And like a blink of an eye, it was 2:30am and we were on the road to the hospital, Josh having already grounded our unborn child 3 times for being a smartass and coming on 3-12. He also wanted to stop for coffee and donuts -- and for those of you who know me well, the thought of going 12+ hours with just ice chips is scarrrryyyyy -- so of course, we stopped. It was while he was paying for the goods that I timed the contractions again: just 3 minutes apart. Logically, I knew those were close, but I still thought I'd have 12+ hours of labor like the other ladies in my fam. We were even passed up by 2 crazy speeding cops with flashing lights and we debated following them for a hot second, but decided we had better things to do.

2:45am: got to hospital. Checked for progress in observation room. Dilated to 6. Water broke. Nurse asked if we wanted to have a baby tonight. Holy of holies, this was going fast. Let's do it :) Breathing through contractions. Trying not to laugh at Josh's jokes. Josh perfectly stroking my arms to help me stay relaxed. Getting lost in the steady pounding of the baby's heartbeat.

3:30am: Rolled into delivery room. Hit a bump and grimaced. Things starting to intensify like woah. Starting to question my decision to do this sans drugs. Pushing through.

4:00am: Nurses stuck me for IV multiple times. Can't find vein. You're fired. Call a better nurse. Please let me walk around. No. Let's try all 4's. Dear God, get me out of this position.

4:30am: Josshhhh... ouchhh. I want the epidural. Get me the epidural. Dilated 8-9. Epidural aint comin', honey. Nurses rushing around. Flood lights on. Want to push? Not really, what's my alternative? Bear down, grab your knees, push!! Good. Good. Good pusher. Don't forget to breathe. Make up your mind! Hold my breath to push or breathe?? Loud voices. Mostly mine. Not really enjoying this. Ooooow! Dear God. Oh God. Really squirming. Ashley, look at me......... your baby is coming. Yes, baby. I want this baby.

4:43am: One more push and we're having a baby..... Ahhhhhhhhh! IT'S A BOY. It's a boy?! Yes, it's a boy! Josh, it's a boy!!! I KNOW! Why isn't he crying, where's his cry. Suction nose. Waaahhh :) :) Give me that baby. Put that baby right here. Fell in love with that baby.

 

And that, my friends, was Mr. Joshua Thomas Gibson's debut. A month early. Fast and furious. Just as it was meant to be. And my name is now on the epidural pre-order list for any subsequent children.

It's been just 7 days since this little snuggle monkey blessed our world and it's like we've known him all our lives. He's peed on my hair and christened Josh with an explosive poo AND a fountain pee in very quick succession. I've pulled on his earlobe thinking it was a hat and scared him with my laughter at least 3 times. A lot of napping, waking up, where are the diapers, you are my sunshine, did you swaddle him, what's he doing. Every minute is heaven. I can't wait for him to laugh at Josh. Until then, I'll take all the gas smiles in the world.

 

 

 

Can't wait for the rest of your life, Tommy boy/Thomas/Tbone/T Pain/Thomashead/Tom Tom
 

O.M.G.

I am dramatic by nature, but I'm serious about this... All the stress in the last year and a half of my life comes down to this week. In five days I defend my thesis. The only thing comforting me at this point is knowing that a year and a half ago, everything I knew about writing a thesis came from the movie With Honors in 1994. I'd say that's starting from scratch and I feel good about my progress. Hopefully I'll be updating next week with emotions similar to this

Virginia is Only 1,376 Miles Away

It's April 12th and The Big Change is behind us. Brooke and those babies have officially flocked to their new home in Norfolk.

It was a dreadful week leading up to moving day. I did everything but creep around corners and stare at Vin and Avery for hours on end. Not in a super scary way, just a kind of scary way. Hell, I wanted to soak up every last second with them! My sisterwife, Lt. Duracell Bunny, was constantly fluttering about the house getting things packed and we had a slew of grandparents in and out that admittedly got to spend way less time with them than I did... so I surrendered. My rational subconscious knew I couldn't hold them for the last week they were in town, so I just kept repeating to myself over and over "they're leaving either way, Ashley. Just rip off the bandaid now. Go forth and conquer." Then I'd sit in my car crying for 20 minutes listening to slow jams.

But seriously. Do you know what it's like to live with a sister for a year and half help raise her children, watch her baby boy grow into a toddler and witness the birth of her baby girl?? This experience was nothing short of unique and I am seriously blessed to have lived it. Not only because I am that much closer with my sister, but also because now I know multiple tricks to make infants sleep (and when they try to fight it, it's okay, because I'M THE BOSS... right, Brooke??), and now I know the most efficient way of handling a massive turd in big boy undies without getting poop on everyone and everything. I also know I have the strength to pick up a sleeping baby, walk her over to the couch, feed her in the dark, and put her back in the crib without ever waking her. Magic. Where else do you have the chance to learn these things? I won't be the world's greatest mother, but those infamous first-time-parent fears will definitely be mitigated by this experience. So. Lucky.

And best of all, I KNOW these children... like really know them.

My Little Nut
The child can throw a frisbee like there's no tomorrow. It's like a "fire in the hole" moment... you better be aware of your surroundings, because there's no telling where it's going, but it's getting there FAST...

He reads every chance he gets and his vocabulary is reaping the benefits. One morning he walked up to Avery in her bumbo seat by the window and I suggested he tell her what was outside... he proceeded to point at each thing as he said, "see, dat Avery, neighbors der and der on bos sides, dats da swing, ders the wind bwowing in the trees." I d.i.e.d.


He's a park dweller by nature, a softy at heart and thinks it's funny to correct me on the type of grains on the back of the cereal box. Or say "Annie Ash is weird" (another aunt that shall remain nameless started that, by the way. Such a hussy).



I can't believe he went from this...

to this, in such a short time...

Ugh. He'll always be my first love (copyright Aunt June, 1954)


My Little Muffin
I'll miss this baby girl just as much, but in a different kind of way. The kind of way that says "damnit that she's leaving right when she gets awesome."

I mean, she's had the squarest face and the poutiest lips from day one, but they just keep getting more scrumptious.


I already miss our half hour of alone time between 7-7:30 like WOAH. We used that time to coo at each other and solve the world's problems... we discovered the answer to happiness was nudity. Just take off that onesie and the BYOMilk Happy Hour was upon us. Good times.

I only had the chance to teach her the necessities - how to straighten her hair

And how to have a really big mouth like a true lippy Anderson female

And I know she'll use that mouth wisely. Girl has things to say. We went from an internalized laugh, to a motorboat scream/cry, to a throat clearing snort, to a straight up grunt of hilarity in just 10 short months. Sweetest streusel muffin love I know. I heart her.





I'd be remiss if I didn't say it's been really stinking nice to sleep in and lay out all day. But when I do things like Skype with them, like I just did... the flood gates open and I'm a mess all over again. Avery just sat on the table with a big toothless grin, pulling out her happy dance a few times... Vincent just wanted to tell me about the new park and sing Wheels on the Bus. My cup runneth over.


Sooo yeah. I'm starting a "Send Ashley To Virginia Fund". Send me a message if you want to donate.

Time Flies When You're in Gradschool - Actually, No it Doesn't

The internet is such a funny thing. You essentially own something for free that you can walk away from for 9 months and when you decide to come back, it's in perfect shape, just as you left it. Brilliance. However, this does not change that I have this huge guilt complex atop my head (anointy nointy) about leaving it for so long. ESPECIALLY since I just re-read the last 3 entries and clearly remember making The Vow of Blogging Equality to my little moofin.(Moofin is Avery. It's a spin on muffin. Muffin just kind of happened because she's quite frankly the sweetest smelling babe south of the Mississippi. Plus, I'm a dietitian and Vincent's a nut. Moofin just fit).

Point being: I'm sorry, Avery, but we all know what babies do for the first 6 months. Not a whole lot. But now you're 10 months with a distinct personality, a sassy little grunt and a precious internalized-95%-of-the-time laugh. And Vincent is reading novels. And you're both leaving me :( So it's time for an epic entry.

I'm currently collecting kleenex in preparation for the official goodbye blog. It's coming soon.

Oops, Sis Did It Again

18 months ago Max and my sister had the most precious baby I've ever seen... then yesterday they had the most precious baby I've ever seen again! So weird.

It is my greatest pleasure to introduce you to my beautiful new niece, Miss Avery Brooke :)

She was aptly born to flight officers at 7:47pm on their wedding anniversary
June 5, 2011
7lbs 3oz
20in long


and after she got her hair did :)



The day started like any other day that starts with your phone ringing at 4:30 in the morning.... I startled awake and practically fell out of bed trying to answer it with a frantic, "are you okay?!?" The only other time I woke up so quickly was when a huge, drunk football player thought it'd be a good idea to surprise me while I was asleep in my dorm room. By laying on me. Ever wake up thinking you're being raped? Didn't think so. It's not fun. So my ever so calm and reserved sister (of whom I'm not sure how I'm related for that very reason) says quietly and peacefully, "Yes, everything is fine. I need you to come home now, my water broke."

I was out the door like Jackie Joyner-Kersee on steroids, my hair probably looking a lot like her dreads at this point too, and since OKC decided to have overnight highway construction on The Most Inconvenient Day ever, thoughts about having a baby on the kitchen floor were dancing through my head... but I was home in no time and there was apparently no need to rush. Brooke was quietly doing what she does best: organizing life in no hurry whatsoever. And it's a good thing too, because she was back at the house by 7am ??? The doc said her water didn't break, but that "she peed herself".

For the record, I'm only comfortable telling this part of the story because 12 hours later we were obviously snuggling a baby, not a 7lb turd. I'm gonna need that doctor's credentials asap.

Anyhoo. We headed back to the hospital when "she peed herself" again and she was admitted (doctor dipshit was obviously not on-call at that point). But the home stretch didn't start off too well when the nurse misplaced her IV and her arm blew up like the elephant man. I just seriously don't have the stomach for stuff like that, people. I almost passed out and we had only been there 15 minutes. But IVs were replaced and my sense of calm was soon restored.

Now Mom tells the best story of Brooke's virtually silent natural labor with Vincent and I was so curious to see if she was over exaggerating like the drama queen she (I) is (am). So at about 6pm, as if I was transported through time to his birth in 2009, Brooke would start to tell a story and just kind of stop in the middle of a sentence, close her eyes, gently relax her arms and breathe normally through a 20 minute contraction. Okay, maybe not that long, but the little Richter Scale of contractions scared me! Most of them were like 5.0s at this point and getting close together, but Brooke was like a silent pregnant Buddha in an annoyingly patterned hospital gown.




It wasn't until 7pm that our little Richter Scale didn't matter anymore because sister was on her side, couldn't move petrified from pain, getting no breaks between contractions AND she broke 4 of my fingers from squeezing my hand. It was around then I decided I would never have a child. She still wasn't making noises because she's pretty much the strongest person I know, but she didn't have to say anything, her wrinkled brow of pain and the fact that I didn't see her eyeballs for an entire hour said enough. She actually ordered an epidural to stop the madness, but the elusive anestesiaologist "Jim" was playing the slots at the casino or something because it never got there....

Brooke went from 6cm to fully dilated and begging to push in 30 minutes. A swarm of nurses and doctors trying to hide their frenzy frantically set up for Avery's arrival. Like earth, wind and fire, Mom grabbed Brooke's right shoulder, Aly migrated to her left shoulder, and I posted up on her left leg. With our Anderson Women powers combined we just stood there and cried for the fifth element to get her shoulders the hell outta Brooke. Funny thing is, when they turned on those birthing flood lights, it was exactly like the final scene in that movie. Except sadly, half naked Bruce Willis wasn't there.

The doctor told her to push at her next contraction and we all waited, hearts pounding from excitement.... and like an amazing magician, the doctor pulled a beautiful baby girl out of Brooke's. hat. The love just poured out of us and for a hot second I forgot about all the pain my sister was in, because my baby niece was laying there being wiped and poked and prodded and of course, adored. THEN the doctor turned to us and her mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear any words.

That's a lie. She was asking who wanted to cut the cord since Max was somewhere between Spain and Africa bringing home the bacon. But seeing as I almost lost my lunch with Brooke's little IV situation earlier, I opted out of the generous offer by pretty much sprinting to the door screaming. Good thing Alyssa isn't squeamish (she donates plasma). She hopped on it like white on rice.



And that was it, folks. The baby girl we've been waiting on for what seems like forever is now in our arms. Brooke brought her home in a "Daddy Loves Me" onesie, perfectly suited for her since I know Max is beaming with pride wherever he is, and Vincent had a Welcome Home sign and some sweet kisses waiting for her! I actually wouldn't be surprised if he made the sign himself - the kid has the vocabulary of most men I've dated.


Welcome to the world, Avery Brooke! We love you dearly and will soon overstimulate you with squeezes and Raffi music. Here's a prelude to the madness:

all I really need is a song in my heart
food in my bel-ly
and looove in my fam-ily

check, check and check :)

For Daddy's Eyes Only

The only thing missing from yesterday's miracle was you, Max :( here's a sneak peek at your new favorite anniversary present....









She has her momma's lips and the sweetest little disposition... hardly cried at all during her bath :) I promise I'll write her official birth story in the next few days when I get pics from Aly's camera so you can have a better pictorial and all the details.

We miss you terribly, hope all is well on the ship. xoxox